Single During the Holidays – Tips for Self-Care & Joy

Why the Holidays Feel Hard When You’re Single

The holiday season can be a time of joy, togetherness, and celebration—but if you’re single (and don’t want to be), it can also feel like a spotlight on your relationship status. Between well-meaning relatives asking questions and the constant stream of cozy couples on social media, it’s easy to feel like you’re missing out. But being single during the holidays doesn’t have to be a downer.

Being Single During the Holidays: How to Navigate It With Grace, Confidence, and Self-Love

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings of Loneliness, Pressure, or Hope

It’s okay if the holidays feel tough. Ignoring your emotions won’t make them disappear. Take time to sit with how you feel, whether that’s lonely, frustrated, or even hopeful. By acknowledging your emotions, you’ll have the clarity to respond to them in healthy ways.

Tool: Journal about your feelings or talk with someone you trust-neglecting your feelings may lead to coping in unhealthy ways, which is only going to drive you into a worse headspace.

Feeling like you don't really know who to talk to about this? Therapy can be a great space to unpack your feelings and find support.

2. Challenge the Holiday “Shoulds” and Unrealistic Expectations

The holidays often come with a long list of societal “shoulds.” You should have a partner to bring to holiday parties. You should have someone special to shop for. You should have a date on New Year’s Eve. These expectations don’t just set the bar impossibly high—they can rob the season of its magic, turning it into a time of unnecessary pressure over what you feel you’re "supposed" to have.

Tool: Shift your focus from what you “should” be doing to the activities that genuinely bring you joy. By stepping away from the “shoulds” and embracing purposeful action, you can cultivate a sense of agency and empowerment, paving the way for greater fulfillment.

3. Set Boundaries With Family and Friends During the Holidays

Questions like, “Why are you still single?” or comments like, “You’ll meet someone soon!” might come from a place of care, but they can feel like pressure. Setting boundaries will help you navigate these moments gracefully.

Tool: Prepare a response: Having a go-to answer can ease the tension. For example, “I’m taking time to focus on myself right now” or “I’ll let you know when my Hallmark moment happens!” A little humor can diffuse awkward conversations while keeping things light.

4. Create Your Own Holiday Traditions That Feel Meaningful

One of the perks of being single is the freedom to design the holidays in a way that feels meaningful to you. Instead of following traditional norms, explore what makes you feel fulfilled.

• Host a “Friendsgiving” or cozy holiday brunch.

• Volunteer at a local shelter or charity event.

• Spend a day immersed in your favorite holiday movies or books.

By creating your own traditions, you’re filling the season with joy that comes from your choices—not anyone else’s expectations.

5. Stay Connected to the People Who Support You

Being single doesn’t mean being isolated. The holidays are a great time to deepen relationships with friends, family, and even yourself. Make plans to connect with others, whether that’s attending holiday events, hosting a small gathering, or scheduling time to catch up with loved ones.

6. Practice Gratitude and Self-Compassion During the Season

The holidays can amplify feelings of inadequacy or loneliness, but they also offer an opportunity to practice gratitude. Focus on the things you do have—a supportive friend group, your independence, or a chance to design life on your terms.

Tool: Self-Compassion: If the season feels heavy, remind yourself it’s just a season. Feel your emotions without judgment, honor the space you’re in, and take time each day to think about the things you do have. Keeping an abundance mindset is proven to enhance mental health.

7. Plan for the New Year With Intention and Self-Reflection

The end of the year is a great time to reflect on your goals and dreams. Use this as an opportunity to focus on your growth—whether that’s exploring hobbies, setting career goals, or preparing for a future relationship.

Try this: Create a vision board for the upcoming year or write down your intentions. This simple exercise can inspire hope and provide a sense of direction.

Already doing this but finding it hard to follow through on your goals? As a therapist, I can help you uncover what’s holding you back and work with you to create a plan that aligns with your values. Reach out today to start turning those intentions into meaningful steps towards the life you want.

A Final Reminder: You’re Not Falling Behind

Being single during the holidays doesn’t have to mean feeling left out. It’s a chance to reflect, connect, and build traditions that reflect who you are. By shifting your perspective, setting boundaries, and embracing the freedom of this season, you can create a holiday experience that feels both joyful and meaningful.

If this season feels challenging, therapy can help you navigate challenging emotions, uncover your stuck-points, and build confidence. 💬 Contact me today to start making the holidays work for you.

If loneliness feels familiar beyond the holidays, you might also like my post on dating burnout.